Eating Disorders and Trauma: Self-Care After Trauma for Recovery and Healing
You wouldn't know by looking.
That's one of the most painful realities of eating disorders - how invisible they can be. How well someone can hide the mental anguish behind a smile. How many women, teens, and even children have learned to mask their battles beneath "wellness," control, or achievement. How many adult women continue the struggle silently, believing it's too late, too shameful, or too confusing to explain.
If this is you - reading quietly from the corner of your phone or laptop - please know this: you're not broken. You're not alone. And this does not have to be your forever.
I want to talk honestly about eating disorders - what they really are, how they're connected to deeper emotional pain, and what it actually means to begin healing. Not the surface-level advice about "just eating normally," but the real work of understanding why food became your language for feelings you couldn't express any other way.
Understanding eating disorders as trauma responses opens the door to meaningful self-care after trauma - the kind that actually supports healing rather than just managing symptoms.
Understanding Eating Disorders: The Hidden Mental Health Crisis
Recent data in the U.S. is alarming:
Over 28.8 million Americans will experience an eating disorder at some point in their life.
Eating disorders affect all genders, but disproportionately impact adolescent girls and women in early adulthood, with ages 12-25 being the most at-risk group.
Despite this, eating disorders are often underdiagnosed or minimized, especially when they don't "look" severe enough or when they appear in high-achieving individuals.
Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is the most common, followed by Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, though many people experience a mix of symptoms that don't fit neatly into a single diagnosis.
What's even more concerning? If an eating disorder continues into late adulthood, the chances are even higher that there are co-occurring mental health conditions like anxiety, OCD, trauma responses, or depression. These overlapping conditions can make recovery more complex - and more urgent.
This is not a vanity issue. This is a mental health crisis.
These aren't just statistics - they represent real people struggling in silence, often feeling like they're the only ones fighting this battle. Behind every number is someone who may be sitting at their kitchen table right now, wondering if anyone would understand their pain.
What Causes Eating Disorders: The Trauma-Food Connection
Eating disorders are often misunderstood as obsessions with appearance. But at their core, they're not about vanity - they're about control, coping, and pain.
Here's what I know after years of working with people struggling with eating disorders: This isn't about vanity, willpower, or being "good" or "bad" with food. This is about survival intelligence. Somewhere in your story, your nervous system learned that controlling food felt safer than feeling out of control in other areas of your life.
Nearly 28.8 million Americans will struggle with an eating disorder at some point in their lives - that's almost 1 in 10 people. And these disorders rarely exist on their own. They frequently co-occur with anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, PTSD, or trauma history.
Food becomes the language the nervous system uses to express what words cannot.
Restricting may feel like safety. Bingeing may feel like escape. Purging may feel like release. Overexercising may feel like control. Every behavior serves a purpose - usually to soothe, distract, or avoid emotional distress.
Eating Disorders and Trauma: When Food Becomes Emotional Regulation
For many people, eating disorders develop as a response to trauma - whether that's childhood abuse, neglect, bullying, sexual assault, or even seemingly "smaller" traumas like chronic criticism, perfectionism demands, or feeling unsafe in your own body during puberty.
When we experience trauma, our nervous system can become dysregulated. We might feel disconnected from our bodies, struggle with intense emotions, or develop a deep sense that we're not safe in the world. Eating disorder behaviors often emerge as attempts to:
Regain control when life feels chaotic or unsafe
Numb emotional pain that feels too overwhelming to process
Self-punish when trauma has left us feeling fundamentally flawed
Create predictability in an unpredictable emotional landscape
Express anger or pain when words feel impossible
Understanding this connection doesn't excuse the behaviors, but it does help us approach healing with compassion rather than shame. It also explains why traditional "just eat normally" advice misses the mark - we need trauma-informed self-care practices that address the underlying nervous system dysregulation.
Self-Care After Trauma: Healing Your Relationship with Food
Recovery from eating disorders, especially when they're rooted in trauma, requires a different kind of self-care - one that acknowledges the nervous system's need for safety and regulation. Traditional self-care advice often falls short for trauma survivors because it doesn't address the underlying dysregulation that drives eating disorder behaviors.
Effective self-care after trauma focuses on building safety, reconnection, and genuine nourishment rather than control or restriction.
Building Self-Care Routines After Trauma
Gentle movement that feels good rather than punitive
Breathing exercises to help regulate your nervous system
Progressive muscle relaxation to rebuild the mind-body connection
Mindful eating practices that focus on internal cues rather than external rules
Trauma-Informed Self-Care Practices
Journaling to process feelings without judgment
Grounding techniques for when emotions feel overwhelming
Creating safety rituals that help your nervous system calm
Practicing self-compassion instead of self-criticism
Self-Care Strategies for Trauma Survivors
Recovery thrives in connection, not isolation. Building your support network might look like:
Reaching out to trusted friends who can offer non-judgmental support
Joining online communities of people in recovery
Working with trauma-informed therapists who understand the connection
Finding mentors who model healthy relationships with food and body
How to Help Someone with an Eating Disorder: Supporting Recovery at Home
If someone in your life is struggling with an eating disorder, your love and support matter more than you know. Here are some ways to help:
Small Acts of Support at Home
Avoid commenting on food, weight, or appearance - even positive comments can feel triggering
Create a calm eating environment without distractions or pressure
Focus on their whole person, not their eating behaviors
Listen without trying to fix when they're ready to share
Educate yourself about eating disorders and trauma to better understand their experience
Model healthy relationships with food and your own body
What Not to Say
"Just eat more/less"
"You look healthy" (can be heard as "you look bigger")
"I wish I had your willpower"
"Food is just fuel"
"You're too smart for this"
What To Say Instead
"I'm here for you"
"This isn't your fault"
"You deserve support"
"Recovery is possible"
"I believe in your strength"
Eating Disorder Treatment Options: Building Your Recovery Team
While self-care after trauma and family support are crucial, eating disorders often require professional intervention. Recovery typically involves:
Therapy Options
Trauma-informed therapy to address underlying emotional wounds
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to change thought patterns
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for emotional regulation skills
Family-based therapy for younger individuals
EMDR for processing traumatic memories
Medical Support
Primary care physicians to monitor physical health
Psychiatrists for medication management if needed
Registered dietitians who specialize in eating disorder recovery
Support Groups and Programs
Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)
Intensive outpatient programs
Residential treatment for more severe cases
Eating Disorder Recovery: What Hope Looks Like
Here's what I want you to know about recovery: it's not just possible - it's probable when you have the right support. Recovery doesn't mean you'll never think about food or your body again. It means those thoughts won't control your life.
Recovery looks like:
Eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're satisfied
Having energy for the things that matter to you
Feeling emotions without needing to escape through food behaviors
Trusting your body to guide you
Finding joy in activities beyond food and exercise
Building relationships that aren't centered on appearance or eating
How to Start Eating Disorder Recovery: Taking the First Step
If you're struggling, you don't have to take a giant leap toward recovery today. You just need to take one small step:
Reach out to one trusted person
Call the NEDA helpline (1-800-931-2237)
Schedule an appointment with a therapist
Practice one grounding technique when you feel overwhelmed
Speak to yourself the way you'd speak to a beloved friend
Remember: seeking help isn't a sign of weakness - it's a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit when something isn't working and even more courage to ask for support.
Your story doesn't end with your eating disorder. It's just one chapter in a much larger story of healing, growth, and discovering who you really are underneath all the pain.
You are worth the fight. You are worth the investment. You are worth recovery.
Your relationship with food doesn't have to be a battlefield forever. Your body doesn't have to be your enemy. Your worth doesn't have to be earned through what you eat or don't eat, how you look, or how much control you can maintain.
Recovery is waiting for you. And so is the life you're meant to live - one where food is just food, where your body is your ally, and where your energy goes toward the things that actually matter to you.
📩 Ready to lead beyond the shame and redefine strength in your body and mind? If you’re a high-performing leader whose relationship with food, body or self-worth is secretly draining you - schedule your free consultation today.
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Rae Francis is an Executive Resilience Coach, counselor, and business strategist who helps leaders and high performers build sustainable success through mental fitness, emotional intelligence, and authentic leadership. She combines 16 years as a therapist with 18 years in executive leadership to guide clients toward clarity, confidence, and calm under pressure. Rae’s work bridges neuroscience and strategy - helping individuals and organizations create systems of sustainable success rooted in emotional regulation and self-awareness. Learn more about her approach and explore how executive resilience coaching can support your growth.
